


In The End

by immortalje



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-05
Updated: 2008-03-05
Packaged: 2017-12-13 11:24:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/823747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immortalje/pseuds/immortalje
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean's left behind and makes a drastic decision.</p><p>past Dean/OFC mentioned,.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In The End

**Author's Note:**

> Pairing: past Dean/OC mentioned
> 
> Note 1: It's been waiting to be posted since forever. Fact is, that when I wrote it I've only watched until the end of the first season (missing 1 or 2 eps) and read spoilers about the season 2 finale. I still need to find time to catch up with the episodes, but it was influenced by spoilers I read.  
> Note 2: Originally, I meant to just write the part about with Dean's PoV. Then I wanted to write Sam getting the news/letter, but it somehow turned into Dean being in the hospital in the end. I've got ideas for a sequel, but hesitate to write it, since it'd involve the OC and I try not to write them (especially female ones)
> 
> Warnings: implied suicide (attempt)
> 
> First posted to [my personal journal](http://immortalje.livejournal.com/168469.html) and later on posted to my [fandom community.](http://love-sacrificed.livejournal.com/29076.html)
> 
> Beta: Becca

Dean stared ahead, the nature around him a silent witness. He was alone again. The demon had been defeated and Sam had left. Just like that. The only person he had left, the one person he had sacrificed everything for. Dean snorted. How could he have ever thought that his brother would be worth it? How could he have believed that giving up his one chance at a normal life, the chance to marry the woman he loved beyond everything, would ever be worth protecting his brother from the cruel reality of life hunting with their father? Sam never saw the bad side of it. Dean or their father had always taken on the cruellest aspects to save Sam from having to go through them. And what had he gotten in return? Nothing.

He rarely got acknowledgement for being the son that stayed, for being the good soldier and Sam never thanked him for being a mother and a father to him all this time, for making it possible that he could go to school regularly, could join some clubs. But no matter how often Sam asked why Dean wanted the life he was living, he never realised that he had never chosen it. All Dean had chosen was to be there for their family, for Sam. The hunting was a side effect, not the choice, no matter how much he might enjoy it.

And now hunting was all he had left. Their father was dead, Sam had left for his precious normal life that he didn't even realise was only possible because Dean had given up his chance and he couldn't go back because the door to a normal life had closed for him. There was only one person he could imagine living that life with and she wasn't reachable any more as too much time had passed.

He couldn't hunt like that, with nothing left. What Sam never got, was that you had to have a reason to hunt. John Winchester had had one, Sam had after Jess died, but Dean never really did. His only reason for hunting had been to protect his family, a family that wasn't there any more. Sam hadn't even asked if Dean wanted to join him. He had just assumed that Dean would be a hunter until he died. He hated it when Sam just assumed things.

Dean knew that what he was about to do was wrong, that he shouldn't just give up like that, but he didn't know what else to do. He refused to live a hollow life, but that was all he had really left to live.

He had written a letter for Sam, saying goodbye. He had nothing he could really leave behind for his brother as all his meagre belongings where either weapons or clothes and the first his brother didn't care about and the latter wouldn't fit anyway. So he did the only thing he could. He stored all of his weapons and sent the key to a hunter he knew before he got into his car for his last ride.

~***~

Sam swallowed when he saw his brother being hooked up to all kind of machines. The doctors hadn't given him much hope of Dean ever waking up. The police had told him that it might have been an accident, but that some things were suspicious and that it might have been a suicide attempt. Sam laughed dryly. It was so like Dean to take his car with him.

He didn’t want to believe that Dean had intentionally driven against that group of trees but the letter they had found addressed to him told him differently. It was an angry letter, full of accusations and for the first time in his life, he saw the real Dean, the one that had always been hidden behind a cool front. Sam realised that no matter how often Dean had bitched about something Sam had wanted, no matter how much he argued about it, in the end Sam had always gotten his will and he had never realised it.

Worst of all was knowing just what Dean had sacrificed for him. All Sam had was his career and the occasional girlfriend that might or might not last, but Dean had given up someone he had been willing to marry right out of school. Sam remembered her. She had been over a lot and back then he had been amazed by the emotions Dean had shown. Once they had moved on, Dean had closed himself off. He remembered asking Dean once about leaving his girlfriend and being pushed away. He had taken it to mean that Dean hadn't cared that much about her, but now he realised that it had been a hurtful reminder.

Sam could only imagine what his life would have been like if Dean had left and he knew for sure that he would have never had the chance to have grades good enough to get into any college. All this time, Dean had stood by him and in return he had left. One thing was true though, Dean was a great actor. So great in fact that Sam had never noticed the truth.

Sam had never regretted anything more than not asking Dean to settle down with him. He had never once realised how much he was hurting his brother, had never realised how much his brother needed him. And he hated Dean for never telling him. It hurt to know that his brother had kept that from him, but in the end Sam knew that he had never been told so he could continue in this ignorance that they both could walk away whenever they wanted to when in truth only one of them ever could have had that chance. Because if Dean had taken his, Sam would have never gotten his and by the time Sam could take his chance, Dean's had long been gone. It wasn't fair that only one of them could find happiness with an ordinary life.

The End?


End file.
